Autism? What's that like?

One of the reasons I created this blog was to not only share how Christ is using autism and ADHD to change our family, but to also create awareness about autism. So, what does this autism thing look like? There is a popular phrase that is so true "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." Just like each person is different, each child with autism is different. So, I'm going to change the question. What does this autism thing look like for Madeline? Ah! Glad you asked!

Literally Speaking

I made the mistake one time of joking with Madeline that "There is a hole in your belly! Look!" She completely freaked out and stood crying and pointing to her belly button. Autism does not leave room for jokes - life is black and white with little room for those gray areas. The first week of school, her teacher asked her to "get your book bag" Madeline yelled at her teacher "it's a backpack, not a book bag!!!" You see, her preschool teacher said backpack, Dora says backpack, every cartoon on the Nick and Disney Jr says backpack. That afternoon, I took a picture of that thing she keeps her books in and carries to school. I showed it to her and explained that some objects have more than one name and that it was perfectly ok to call this object a book bag or a backpack. Concepts that come naturally to a typical child have to be explicitly taught to a child with autism. Some children may get in trouble for being sarcastic with their parents - we give her a big hug and may tear up a little.

Socially Speaking

Madeline LOVES people. Wherever we go, she wants to say "hello" to everyone she meets, and in return, everyone she meets should (in her mind) say "hello" to her. It's a good thing I'm an extrovert, because I am always meeting new people. Before early interventions through her preschool, Madeline would rush up to a fellow toddler and just stand there and look at him/her. She so badly wanted to say something, anything, but could not muster up the words or phrases. Now, she will actually start a conversation with "What is your name?" or "What are you doing today?" She's not quite sure what to say past that, but it's a work in progress.

Conversation does not come naturally to Madeline and has to be taught through visual cues, social stories, a tv show, or role playing. One of the introductions she has been taught is "What are you doing today?" This can be kind of awkward when she says that to an adult upon first meeting him/her, but her infectious smile usually wins everyone over. And this is where Madeline amazes me. In order to make her way in this social world, she has to try harder than most to figure out social cues and norms. She studies others and watches what they say and do, and uses that to help her make sense of her surroundings. This is not an easy process and usually involves trial and error and lots of awkward moments.

She has a mother, father, and little sister. She knows her dad is a boy and her mom is a girl. So, upon meeting people she would call all men "dad" and all women "mom". The mom part wasn't as awkward as the dad part, lemme tell ya! Whew! Today she is past that, but still struggles with the sibling situation. When she sees a boy and a girl together, she will call the girl her "sister" and the boy her "brother," because that is how, in her mind, she sees boys and girls.

Madeline is a whiz at talking about concrete subjects and objects. She could name all of her shapes, letters, letter sounds, 1-10 numbers, and objects around the room or in her environment all at an early age. She could not verbalize if she was a boy or a girl until she was almost 4. We could give her sentence starters like "You are a __________" and she would fill in "girl", but if you asked her "Are you a boy or a girl?" she would stare at you or mumble something you couldn't understand. From around the age of 2, she studied tv shows to help her figure out how to communicate with others. This worked well for her at times, and at other times we would have a lot of explaining to do. For example, Peppa Pig likes to tell her daddy that his "tummy is a bit big." I picked Madeline up at preschool and her teacher told me "Madeline told me my tummy is a bit big." Yeah. Good ole' Peppa. A lot of the phrases she uses come from books or television shows. She'll hear the phrase in the show, memorize it, then try and fit it into her everyday language. Pretty smart huh? Again, not always accurate, but that takes a lot of brain power!

Obsessively Speaking

Picture a record player. Remember those? I was born in the cassette tape era, but we owned a record player growing up. I remember that sometimes it would get stuck and you would have to go over and physically move the needle so that your favorite song would keep playing or to move on to the next song. This is pretty similar to how Madeline deals with some experiences, books, movies, and ideas. You saw me post a video about Halloween (at least I hope people got to view it). This is Madeline's favorite time of year. We had to explicitly teach her that Halloween is only in October, because she became so fixated that she thought we should trick-or-treat year round. Hey, I'm all about year-round candy, but not sure the neighbors would be too keen on the idea. A year ago, I introduced her to the book Room on the Broom and was even able to find the movie. She loved it so much, she wanted to watch it over and over again so she could memorize it - and she did. She has the whole script memorized and even makes her sister act it out with her. She knows everyone's speaking part and even makes sure if you play along, you are completely in character - inflection and all. So, after October is over, we try to hide the book, and explain that book is for October. When she's rummaging around in her bookshelf to find a nighttime story and she sees it, she'll say "That's for October."

This has just been a basic overview. I could write a lot more, but this post is pretty long. As I continue to write about our family, you will continue to learn more about autism as it pertains to our sweet, loving, and energetic Madeline Lee! I will also cover the topic of ADHD in a future post. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask!