Family Rules

One of the best decisions we have made thus far as parents (there are so few, when we get something right, I blog about it)  is displaying Family Rules in our home. I usually don't copy other people's rules, but I saw a list on Pinterest that really resonated with our family. We have them posted in the foyer/entrance area.

Don't they look great? My mom found a lady who did the whole thing. It really blends with our home decor, which is exactly what I wanted. But if we're not careful, those beautiful words can become merely a decoration instead of the basis for how our household functions. 

Each time Madeline or Norah breaks a rule, we have them tell us which rule was broken and apologize. It has been so neat to see how in just a short period of time they have, not only memorized each one, but know what number corresponds to each rule. The other day Norah got her stool out to try and reach something on the counter. I walked up to her and asked "What does rule 6 say?" And she immediately said "Ask permission." I was then able to correct the behavior. The same is true for Madeline. Regulating emotions is a hard task for my child with autism. She can tend to sound rude and forceful, so rule #3 - Use kind words in a kind voice, has been one we are constantly having to reinforce. 

As parents, we are also learning that these are FAMILY rules. Not only do the children have to obey them but we, as the parents, have to obey them as well. The other day, I got upset with Norah because she had a tad bit of attitude in her voice. So, what did I do? I yelled .... USE KIND WORDS IN A KIND VOICE!!!! Ya'll. I sure did. I then had to apologize for not only yelling at her, but also not using kind words in a kind voice. I was able to tell her I was wrong and implement rule #6 - ask for forgiveness.  It's a work in progress, but I'm so thankful we are laying the foundation for how we want to raise our girls. 

Autism Is....

So I'm sitting here at the computer listening to Mike read bedtime stories to Madeline and he is frequently interrupted because he's not pronouncing each word distinctly enough.

I'm trying not to laugh because she's insistent and he's in there trying to pronounce each word to perfection to move the process along so we can go to sleep.


SOOOOO every now and I will have a short post called "Autism is...." and list something random that is going on at our house. The same will be true for ADHD. You never know what interesting things you'll hear about.

For tonight?

Autism is....

pronunciation is key. Each word must be spoken to perfection. She's listening....

The Family Vacation - It's All About Perspective

Besides Christmas, it's the most wonderful time of year - the family vacation. We do not take our yearly pilgrimage to the land of sand and sea until October, so after seeing everyone else's summer pictures, we are ready to GO! And everyone else's pictures show matching outfits, splashing water with smiles and giggles, everyone enjoying all of the great food the gulf has to offer at restaurants where the kids are all behaving. Yeah, that's what the pictures show. So when I look at those, I think yeah... vacation.... ahhhhhhh life is good.

But, ya'll, it's the same old thing year, after year, after year. The thrill of vacation excitement is quickly squashed by the reality of one thing: that's not our reality. And quite frankly, I bet that's not most people's reality. Pictures are funny things, huh? But every year, I set myself up to have these expectations of me relaxing and me doing what I want to do. I spent a lot of vacations not having the best time, because my expectations were never met.

See, I was forgetting one little word in the whole family vacation thing..... FAMILY!

A family vacation means living out your life together in a different location with better views and food. The same baggage is there because we are all imperfect people, and no amount of amazing gulf views and all-you-can-eat seafood buffets is going to change that.

This realization didn't hit me until we were about 4 days into our vacation. I was laying in a blanket with my girls on our beach house deck one night. The stars were so bright and beautiful. I listened at Madeline described them to me through her eyes...

We see the stars at night, but they wear camouflage during the day like Gekko from PJ Masks. 

And she kept describing the sky and was so excited to see each and every one. In that moment God gave me this small revelation: this is family vacation - being with and enjoying my family. Autism and ADHD make vacation more difficult and less relaxing, but instead of focusing on that - God gave me a moment into Madeline's inquisitive little mind and how she sees the world. I hate it when I take those moments for granted, and I'm thankful I have that sweet memory.

So, yes.......

• Norah peed at midnight, then woke up at 4am crying because she didn't like the new panties I put on her.... they weren't pink.
• Madeline didn't go to sleep until 2 am the first night and never recovered, so we had 2 days of complete meltdowns.
• Both of my children made dinner time quite the "experience." I believe there were endless screams over not getting a certain pink plate?
• Autism and ADHD still vacationed with us - they don't take breaks.
• Alcohol and coffee were both consumed before noon. (Hey, it's vacation... right?)

But........

• Norah overcame her fear of the ocean, tackling those killer gulf waves. 
• Madeline was able to swim in the pool and dive for toys.
• I was able to sit at the dinner table every.single.night with my family. 
• I was able to watch the sunrise and sunset with my 2 girls each and everyday.
• I learned more and more about my children's little personalities. 
• I got to sit and watch the waves crash while answering Norah's questions about God and creation.
• I witnessed Madeline improve her social skills as she interacted with others at the beach.
• Our awesome families helped out so much by doing activities with the girls.
• My sweet husband and I were a team all week. Spending time with him without his work computer was pretty amazing. 

So from now on, I think I'm going to have a different family vacation perspective: savor that precious week with my family - my loud, energetic, perfectly imperfect family...... and plan my 15 year anniversary cruise..... hey, it's only 3 years away... :)